Thursday, December 19, 2013

The 5 Stages of Brotherhood... and Life!

My best friend and brother-from-another-mother just got married, exactly two months and one day after I did. The entire experience was strangely cathartic and took me down memory lane. It also brought on this slew of long dormant philosophical outpouring. This one though is dedicated to all the bros!

Boys will be boys and girls will grow up into wonderful, complicated women. Boys do grow wise too, but we also manage to stay stupid. We celebrate our victories and failures with delirious mirth and suicidal inebriation. We act grown up, thoughtful, detached, brave, irresponsible, and vulnerable based on the situation's demands. And it is these very patterns of thought and behaviour that brings us bros together, forging friendships that stay strong through the years, enduring far better than obligatory familial ties.

Here, I pick my favourite 5 bro-ments. They might seem stupid and juvenile to the uninitiated, but hey, most bro-haviour does seem stupid and juvenile to the uninitiated!

First Strike - Last Man Standing 

It's one of those sessions where they're falling like flies. Cries of bottoms-up drown out the sounds of another poor soul throwing up as the drinking becomes a serious rite that all comes down to finding out who will be left standing... or sipping. Soon, the spew settles down and just two are left. The contest is over. Last man standing is a lonely and stupid game anyway. The two newly bonded brothers lean back to enjoy their next drink... Cheers!

Second Strike - Bro Against the World 

There are decisions and there are decisions. Every once in a while, you come across one that will alienate everyone else. Parents will disown you, friends will shake their heads disapprovingly, and even the chai wallah will wonder what's wrong with you. Your bro though will stand by you. There will be only one question asked--Are you happy? That is all that matters. We'll figure this out.

Third Strike (this isn't baseball, nobody is out!) - Relationships 

The bro has a girlfriend, or a wife. What does this mean to the brotherhood? How do things change? Do things get weird? Does the wife approve or at least understand? What happens when the other bro gets a girl too? What are the odds of two women who didn't pick each other getting along? These are tough questions, and they need to be answered and figured out. Too many brotherhoods have been disbanded to this deadly third strike. (Ha! Gotcha! Third strike after all!) This round though goes to the lovely women who accompany us bros; for understanding us, for respecting our bros, and for getting along with each other. We couldn't stay bros without you.

Fourth Strike - Success and Failure

The true test of brotherhood lies in this ultimate strike. One bro struggles to find his feet while the other soars. The closely bonded relationship has two conflicting aspects murkying the waters. There is frustration and men being men have egos. But this is the beauty of brotherhood. All it takes is another cricket match with some six packs in the fridge and the joy of an undisturbed evening to scream and shout with an entire country cheering and bursting firecrackers in the background. Actually, the six packs alone will do too!

Fifth and Final Strike - Distance 

Bros will grow up and move away. Family, work, and life will take them to distant shores. Keeping in touch on a regular basis is not a bro thing. Time goes by and responsibilities weigh the ever-youthful shoulders of the bros as they lose their carefree joie-de-vivre sans each other. Grey hair or no hair strike too and the slouch and the paunch weigh the posture down. Capacity for alcohol and late nights goes down and laughter becomes hesitant and confined to socially acceptable volumes. Till one fine day when the bros reunite. Time is confused and doesn't know whether to rewind or fly past as they get right down to the business of being bros. Nothing has changed and the boys will indeed always be boys.

Let's drink to that one... Cheers!



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