The Want Rant

From the first outraged wail you emit as a filthy, wrinkled baby to that last whispered sigh of ‘if only’ as you feebly kick the bucket, it’s all about what you want. You’re a relentless need-machine that needs to be fed, clothed, sheltered, coddled, reassured, and admired. A need goes wanting, and you turn into a miserable, insecure crib-fest. You make others around you even more miserable and you throw a tantrum a mile-wide that is like a vicious net, cast wide to capture anything thrown your way to appease your hungering need. It satisfies your ravenous being for a while, and then you start all over again.

You are wrecking feelings, lives, just by unleashing the expectation of your wanton desires on everyone and everything that crosses your path. You don’t care what others want. Oh, you pretend to. You take perfunctory note of another’s odd, convenient wish and make it happen. Then you sit back and wait for the appreciation and the gratitude. It’s all about gratuitous payoff; and if it isn’t instant, we have another tantrum coming right up. 

What is this trail of destructive self-indulgence that you leave behind? Why do you need company when alone and solitude when surrounded by people? Why do you crave what you don’t have and demean what is yours for the taking? Why can you not just accept what is and build on it? Why can’t you just be, damn it!

But no, you want what you want. You’re not going to let it go. If you can fulfil that void within you by yourself, then you will. If it needs to be done at another’s cost, then you will do that too. If not, you will reduce yourself to a blabbering, pathetic beggar looking for sympathetic alms and will not let up till you have what you need. You machinating, sanctimonious excuse for a human being! You will continue to cannibalize your life and those ill-fated enough to be caught in your selfish kamikaze dive till you’re sated.

With these final, damning words, I look away. I’m done with my conversation with my reflection for today. Tomorrow, it will be something else. I just hope it’s a tad more pleasant.