Thursday, October 9, 2008

Goodbye My Brother...


Saying goodbye is the hardest thing.

Every day brings a new farewell to you. Sometimes, you just kiss yesterday goodbye as you rub the sleep from your eyes. Sometimes you cling on to the beauty of the night as the day pries your eyes open with vulgar brightness. And sometimes, you kiss that someone special goodbye after a night that might never come again.

Every bit of newness in life replaces something old. There is only so much your life can take without bursting at the seams. Sometimes, a flood of novelty washes over you, flushing the dusty nostalgia from the crevices of your memory. At other times, one li’l intense newcomer in your heart bursts like a supernova, shattering mammoth pillars that have held the canopy of your sanity up all your life.

Slowly, with the grace of an ageing beauty, or quickly, with the haste of a trapped urchin, snatches of your life disappear forever, leaving behind traces of evanescent fragrance or an unpleasant stench that will always linger. People, places, habits… all parts of your life. But eventually, most of them go. And if they don’t, finally the day comes when you win the leaving game, and depart for good.

As you see the mists close on the retreating elements of your life, do take a moment to bid them farewell. Therein lies beauty, even if it’s poignant. You might be able to hold on to that bit of wisdom, even if the experience you put away gently is ugly. People might leave for good, but the memories will stay. And those memories will bring so much more joy, if you have just managed to get your goodbye right.

I guess this is my farewell. To a me who has been me for all these years. He has been tough, inimitable and intense. He has persevered where I might have failed. He has fought battles I would never have survived. He has lived my life when I couldn’t quite manage to.

My friend, the war is over. The times that lie ahead do not need your cynicism or rage. They do not need your cold practicality or your dispassionate analysis. They do not need you.

You have stood me in good stead. But it is time to say goodbye. To all that you have been and all that you have done to rebuild my life from the shambles it was. The poet has slept for long enough, and it is time he took over his life again. And you must retire. I promise to remember you. In my musings, in my outbursts, in my tales, in my dreams. With a grateful heart, I clasp your hand, and lay you to sleep. With a twinge in my heart, I bid you farewell.

Goodnight my friend.

Goodbye my brother. 



Cogito Ergo Vivum

5 comments:

plain boring jane said...

strange you would say that...goodbyes are the hardest thing. hasta la vista seems more appropriate. i don't think one can rid oneself of what one inherently is...certainly not consciously at least

Wordscapist said...

Hmmmm... there are layers. And at times, you figure out a way to peel off a layer that's grown with the scar tissue. Pain involved, but then it paves the way for feeling again.

plain boring jane said...

it takes two kinds to be able to do that, i think...one who has truly evolved or one who is incredibly gullible. which one may be successful is anyone's guess. if you are neither of the above, i wish you the best!

Wordscapist said...

Does it matter? Evolved or gullible, i could do with the luck. Thank you! :)

plain boring jane said...

apparently not :)